TANYA:
Let me start by being honest. When I started Adornment Stories, building a team was the scariest part of the journey. I had been an entrepreneur for 4 years full time by that point and dealt with a ton of disappointment. I often felt like being a young Black women leader, primarily using my home as a work space, it was super challenging to build professional relationships that felt safe yet not overly familial.
I think anyone who has created something with their full heart in it can relate to how heartbreaking it feels to invite people in and it not work out. So by the time I started developing Adornment Stories, I had lots of experience hiring and putting together teams… but also a lot of experience of having to let people go or accept them leaving.
So there I was, terrified to let new people in, but I knowing I needed to. I knew that the kind of safe space that came from Black folks gathering was necessary and I had secured resources to make it happen. My personal first step was getting out of my feelings and healing from the past. The truth is professional break-ups, like personally ones, teach us that change is okay and we will survive anything.
Here is a side note for how all relationships parallel; before I got married, I went through a horrible break-up which led me to read a book titled “Untethered Soul”. What I realized is the key to healing personally and staying emotionally open was actually in becoming deeply rooted and secure in connection. Learning that even in break-ups I still have access to joy, love and belonging meant I could connect freely, not overwhelmed by the thought “what if it didn’t work”. I got married a year and a half after that break-up with the realization that I could in fact have a loving experience without being anxious about the ending because if it did end, I would still have access to love, joy and belonging. I hope you are following me here. I intentionally work at building a work culture as a leader that is rooted in secure attachment rather than anxious or avoidant attachment. This means everyone is valued yet disagreements, change or even endings are not taken as a personal failure or judgment of others. This means conflict is not seen as bad, but an opportunity to lean in, listen and build together.
So once I was able to become secure, it was important to me, and remains important that I lead from the heart. That myself and everyone on our team feels they could bring their fullness to the table. I am not operating from the anxious fearful place I used to, I now see our shared identities and experiences as a benefit in harmonious operation. While I work hard at asking questions and not assuming I know or understand, I also feel the relationships and human connection built allows me to contextualize how I operate and what I expect from each person. There is no cookie cutter workflow, white supremacy will have us thinking that professionalism is about fitting into a tight box of how we speak and dress, the goal to me is more so about accountability. Being accountable to our word, to each other and community. I find accountability is easier when we craft our jobs together, while we primarily work virtually, we check in weekly which helps me to be a support but allows folks to craft their tasks in alignment with their personal purpose for the work.
So if you asked me what my secret sauce was as a leader creating a positive workspace I would say:
Time and Experience, even if you are not sure what to do, start. Every person I hired taught me to be a better leader, to communicate more clearly and offer systems for success.
Look into your attachment style and work at healing past traumas so that natural conflict does not uproot your sense of self. This is ongoing work but the energy shift is worth it. Being slow to respond is a way to not let trauma take over. “Untethered Soul” helped me with this.
Lead from the heart. “Dare to Lead” is a great book for this. Leading from the heart requires taking time to get to know people on a personal level and letting them in. Trying to rule over, or have power over, rarely gets the results that empowering people to be in alignment with their own purpose and accountability does.
Be kind to yourself, we are all making this up as we go.
FONNA:
As a person who tends to be the "logistics person" who would join a project that has multiple aspects, I'd settle myself right in the middle and be part of a little piece of everything. Sure, it was amazing to know about ALL that's going on, but I've learned the power of "staying in my own lane". I've learned that over-extending myself and doing too much doesn't help anyone. It results in me promising things I can't deliver on, bottlenecking a project, or not serving the project in the best way possible.
With Adornment, I've seen the power of playing on your strengths and asking for help. Have you ever felt like you've worked with a team and can't ask a "stupid question" or didn't feel comfortable to ask for help? Those are the kinds of spaces that I don't want to enter. Regardless of industry, it ultimately comes down to the team and your own personal boundaries/needs/wants.
In Adornment, I've learned from my peers, my other teammates, folks from different age ranges, and this has been a space that keeps people growing.
As a team member, some of the mistakes I learned from include:
Find a mentor or friend in the team who you can ask "stupid questions" to as soon as possible and bombard them with questions over a meal (or at this time maybe a Zoom call!) to learn the lay of the land.
Review your personal working style. Are you a deep work person and need 2 hours with white noise in order to concentrate? Or do you like to collaborate with others on a whiteboard and brainstorm? Are you a night owl or an early bird? How do these affect how you work with others and fit into the working culture of the team?
What is one way you are challenging yourself and moving outside of your comfort zone
What are you willing to tolerate? What are your boundaries and limits? Are you okay with teaching people about what microaggressions and how it affects you or will you choose a place that just "gets it"?
ADIA:
I’m pretty comfortable with defining the relationship when it comes to business transactions. When I have had group work in university, my first question is always “alright, what are the roles, who’s gonna do what?” But Adornment Stories has been pretty different from any other position I’ve had. Yes, on paper, the roles seemed well defined, but there is so much more to it when it comes to long term collaborative group work that requires not just hard work but heartwork.
In order to build safe spaces for personal transformation, we have to build a foundation of support by connecting with each other. Think of a trust fall. In order to convince participants to turn around, close their eyes and lean back, they gotta believe our hands are linked tight, ready to catch them.
And I started off as that willing participant. What initially drew me to this platform is how it felt like such a unique space that allowed me to give to myself and connect with community in a way I hadn’t before. Learning from other black women/femmes about art and wellness was something I had yearned for in the depths of my spirit. I was elated to take my experience from the first round and help manifest that experience for others who followed.
Working in a team, you need two things: boundaries and communication. I realize how much those preliminary structures are important to me in a group environment. I tend to lean on logical aspects of working: what needs to get done and who is doing it. But while we’ve had to navigate through a lot in the past year (from time differences to restructuring whole projects due to COVID-19), I realize how much the human element matters in the workspace, for myself included. When something goes wrong, we don’t just check off tasks, it's about taking time to unpack our misses and reevaluate our capacities. Because we are a small team, everyone’s role seems that much more significant. No one is easily replaced. And in going back to that trust fall, that means we have to commit to being there, for each other and for the participants.
So in that commitment to being present, I have to commit to my own personal development. I need to communicate my strengths and weaknesses so the team can be prepared to meet me where I’m at. I need to communicate boundaries and be willing to have hard conversations so we can better understand the needs of the group. I have to arrive with a humbling understanding so that as a team we arrive at the same goal.
My advice for building a collaborative workspace:
Commit to the personal work. A big part of building a positive workspace is what you do off the clock. Because all your trauma, all your insecurities, they come with you to the workspace. Of course personal growth is a lifelong journey, so don’t get caught up in perfectionism. But be prepared to challenge your own biases. Which will be helpful when considering my subsequent points.
REST: A lot of us grew up with #ThatHustleLife mentality. “I can sleep when I’m dead” and all that. No, sis. You don’t have to feel guilty for taking a break or turning down a project when your plate’s full. Because knowing your limits is actually the peak of professionalism. And guess what, if someone tries to convince you otherwise, that’s not the work environment for you
Ask for help. In recent conversations, I learned how common it is for black women and femmes (myself included) to struggle with asking for help. Even for the small stuff. But keeping problems to yourself won’t get them solved. Sometimes you just need a new pair of eyes and ears to get you through it. That is the purpose of collaboration in the first place, right?